Okay, even the title is kind of awkward, but I don’t care. It’s true!
Here’s my story.
Growing up I didn’t think much about modesty. I went to church and loved God (more than anything), and I dressed modestly. But it wasn’t a conscious decision. I wore the clothes I was given: hand-me-downs from my older brother, outfits from the church share closet, and garage sale bargains. That’s what I wore.
Then I hit junior high. I was still thin as a rail, wearing little girl clothes as a teenager. I tried to piece things together, but this was before thrifty fashion was in style and most of the time I probably just looked like a vagabond who needed help.
Then it all changed.
I got my first job in 8th grade. I was working at the mall at a leather accessory kiosk. It was divine. I got paid in cash every week (I didn’t know what “under the table” meant or that it was illegal). All my money went toward “fashion.” My first purchase was a pair of white cowboy boots with silver studs. I’d been eyeing those boots for months and felt such a rush when I finally purchased them. That was just the beginning.
Back to the topic: you have to understand that the cheapest clothes are frequently the most immodest clothes. I was on a limited budget and bought all my own clothes. So I shopped in the teen stores, where I could get ten items for $50. Short skirts, tube tops, belly revealing tops, leggings and more. That’s what I could buy so that’s what I wore. I didn’t think about modesty because I was so skinny there wasn’t really anything to show off (I was a little naive too.)
Fast forward to college and I was still wearing the same style because I was still on a budget. That style didn’t send the right message or attract the right friends (or boyfriends). Even though my heart was right, my clothes were saying something different.
If I’d only known.
Fast forward to today… I’m a wife and mother and mentor to teen girls. I see what the stores are selling, what images movies are projecting, and the message that every girl and woman sees every time she turns around. Be sexy. Strut your stuff. Be loud and proud. Show your skin.
What happens is that we start believing how we look is who we are and where our value lies… our body, our skin, our shape. Nothing could be further from the truth.
It pains me to see so many wives and mothers thinking they have to look sexy in lingerie and get a boudoir photo shoot done to show off their stuff. Our grandmothers and mothers weren’t expected to have their scantily clad bodies displayed for all to see. Not saying they had it made, they had their own issues of the day to deal with. But seriously, why are we adding this pressure to women in their 30s and 40s (and beyond) to think that they have to look like Jillian Michaels in the gym and a Victoria’s Secret model in the bedroom… and display it all online for everyone to see.
- I think modesty should be the new sexy.
- I think women should be celebrated and valued for their character not their cleavage.
- I think girls should be listened to and heard for their dreams, not their derrieres.
But who am I?
Just another awkward girl living in an “I’m so hot” world.